I am flawed and sometimes insecurity strikes me and I accept that part of myself. I’m an epitome of madness, irony and unpredictability but I learned to deal with that even if sometimes I get stuck in confusion.. I’m beautiful despite of judgmental eyes around me and am pretty much aware of that.. I could pay my bills, eat a sumptuous meal in any resto in town, have a trip and go shopping at my own expense all by myself and enjoy every minute of it.. I can break, get hurt, feel down and stood up after a tiring night of heavy cries and wake up smiling while telling myself “life goes on.”
I can do pretty much everything on my own. Like I was born to be living this way and I have no complains with that. I have been self sufficient even at a young age, in school, at home, at work almost anytime… anywhere.
But when you once felt how it is like to be with someone or having someone to share anything in you life with, that’s the time you somehow feel doubting your so-called “self-sufficiency.”
Makes you think:
* It’s not that bad, having someone who weirdly loves your flaws. Squeeze in every fat in you like its a fluffy ball of happiness. See you with no makeup, your hair all messed-up with your loose ragged shirt from the other day and still thinks you’re the most beautiful creature ever created (aside from his mother). Letting you forget that the word “insecurity” ever existed.
* How comforting its is having someone patiently stays with you while throwing your big tantrums and your nerve wrecking emotional episodes. Who sees your unpredictable personality a challenge and not a reason to walk away. That even at the toughest and craziest day of yours, he’ll just wrap you around his arms until all the stir-ups melt away.
* You’re miss independent yet you’re being spoiled with the little efforts and thoughtful act of someone who cares. Buying you presents which you don’t necessarily need but he thinks you deserve coz you work so hard. Surprising you with a movie date, a cozy dinner at a nearby food cart and long walk home. Picks you up from work whenever he can even if you could walk yourself home coz for him, every second spent with you is what makes him happy.
* How nice it is having a someone whom you could share your secrets with, you could laugh with, cry with and someone whom you could be weird with. Where you could be yourself anytime of the day without minding what he might think of you after you farted so loud beside him. How you could dance your insanely dope moves and joins with you reluctantly. How you could cry your f’ing ass out when you felt tired from all the pressures at work and bring you ice cream after just to make your day.
We could try to be the most independent person that we are and survive everyday of our lives, but honestly, it is so much nicer, lighter, comforting and somehow…
having someone you could share your whole life with especially without the fear of being left alone back to the usual “independent” you =). It takes time. It may come and go. But the mere thought of it gives you the slightest hope that maybe, sometime, somewhere in you destined fate, you may meet someone who will make you realize that having someone is not a bad idea at all.