Mehhh?

I’m a walking drama enclosed in mystery
One hot mess that most might be challenged to have but once unravel will just get rid of immediately.

Am starting to think that am the irony of everything
The more am persuaded and accepted the more I tend to push and run away
The more rejection, denies and abandonment, the more my soul craves for the agonizing feels it gives.
It seems I got used of the pain, rather am addicted to it, making me long for my regular fix.
That even I’ve got a way of avoiding complications, i run towards it to get my share of misery.

That an enticing offer of stability handed over to me in a silver platter makes me want not to take it for I fear of the hope it brings for salvation might shatter right in front of me.

How could I ever be the normal They could ever hope for when am deranged enough to be wrapped in doubts, insecurities, fears and madness.

I could never be someone has ever hoped for. Am just a twisted lad wanting to be loved even if I am afraid to. Wanted to be accepted when I cant even accept myself. Longing for affection I cant even offer. Waiting for a person who’ll stay no matter what even if I already stopped and surrender long before.

So tell me, who could ever stand a lady who’s a paradox of her own nature?

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