An Open Letter to the Girl I Used to Know

Let this be the last time I will write about you. I strongly wish I could swear that. You are the last string attached to my past which I long to get rid of for quite some time now. Yet I continuously battle to keep you all these years for I thought you are different. I thought you are worth it.

But I guess what I’ve always been thinking was as untrue as the bond of friendship you said you had with me. Regardless of our shortcomings and the dispute we always have, we manage to get back together coz we thought we’re inseparable. That we could be against all odds and our friendship is stronger than any challenge that may face us.

Yet again, I was wrong. I have seen the worst in you with the way you treat others behind their backs. You’re such a sweet thing and your charms could attract any individual who comes your way. Even I was captivated with how smart you talk which can make anyone believe every word you say. I admire you for that with all honesty. Nevertheless, that same attribute of yours deceived me in believing that I was with a good and trustworthy company.

Your actions and badmouthing towards others grow my fears that one day I might be in their shoes, taking all your dramas, being misunderstood by others because you tell them stories of you being victimized by every individual that does not please you. Not even once have I heard you that you’re at fault with all your misfortunes. It’s always somebody else’s fault. You feed me with stories of people mistreating you, aggravating you, oppressing you or stories that could simply tell how horrible of a person they are. However, as time pass by I have come to realized that all these words coming out of your mouth are only a reflection of what you really are, or should I say what you have become.

Still, I held on. I set these thoughts aside for a moment because my love for you was stronger than all my fears. You are a sister to me and I can’t easily give up on that.

Ironically, you are as good at drawing people away from you just as how good you are in luring them in. Sometimes you do not recognize the care and concern of others towards you, because you were blinded by your judgements and negative presumptions of people’s intentions.

You always say I am selfish, I am insensitive, stubborn and inconsiderate of others’ feelings. You’re slapping me with all my flaws whenever you have a chance thinking that it is a gesture of concern. And I accepted that for I though it’s pure only to find out in the end that all these were intended to conceal your own insecurities. You clearly know how I value my privacy and how secluded of a person I am, but you’re like a time bomb that explodes all of a sudden who uses all my enigmas and fears against me. It’s all true that not everyone you cherish, cherishes you back.

Despite all these, I will try with all my might to only think of the good things I’ve had with you when people speak about you. I won’t waste even a minuscule of my time and efforts telling everyone how atrocious you’ve become just to gain their sympathy. I would burn our bridges in the most silent way I could so as not to make your image anymore pitiful than it already is. I won’t go down your level and do the things you do towards me for vengeance because in the end, what dominates my heart is the memory of the “BESTEST FRIEND” I used to know. Even it has to come on its tragic and most awful ending, I’d always value and give the respect due in our friendship whether you’re deserving or not.

I hope time will come, you’ll get to your senses and ponder if the people who left you are really the ones to blame. With all sincerity, I wish you genuine happiness and may you find peace in your heart with the new people you’ll meet. May you also find another friend who won’t give up on you like I do. I apologize if I could no longer tolerate and stay by your side like I did throughout these years. Sorry if this time, I will give myself a chance to heal. Remember, you’re still a good person, you are beautiful no matter what. Please don’t be blinded and clouded by the negativity you’re living with just as how am continuously battling with mine. Worry not, for your secrets are safe with me forever. Thank you for the roller coaster ride. May we both forget the pain that this journey had caused us in time. SAYONARA!




sa tuwing mag-aaway kayo
sana maisip mo ako
maalala aking pagdududa
sa maliliit na bagay na ginagawa mo
kapag sinigawan ka nya
boses ko ba’y matunog pa?
nanginginig sa galit sa pagdidiin
ng mga kasalanang tinatanggi mo pa
sa tuwing iiyak sya
alalahanin mo’ng aking mata
maga sa rumaragasang luha
tuwing nanaisin kong humiwalay na
kapag yumakap sya
dama mo pa ba?
mga kamay kong nakabalot sayo
sa tuwing sasabihin mong “Patawad na.”
sa bawat halik nyo sa isat isa
malasahan mo pa rin sana
mga labi kong walang ibang sinambit noon
kung hindi “Mahal pa rin kita.”
at ngayong nakangiti ka na
masayang masaya sa piling nya
iwan mo ang lahat ng aking bakas
pagkat tanggap ko, ito na ang wakas.

Why “SHE” Won’t Commit

Been a while, and due to a friend’s request, I’d be listing some of the reasons why us ladies don’t want a commitment. This is with all fairness to my previous post Men’s Reasons (EXCUSES) for not wanting a Relationship With You.

Women are known for being fickle-minded, moody and choosy. But hey! These aren’t the only reasons why we don’t want to commit. Here’s a list of the few reasons I know:

1. Just enjoying the single life.

It’s not that she doesn’t like you or find you not so interesting. She might be enjoying your company so much but that’s not enough reason for her to let go of her singleness There are women who enjoys having no strings attached and contented with their life alone.

2. She’s literally NOT ready.

This is the most common reason why she won’t commit. This may be due to recent heartbreaks or being fed up with past relationships that don’t work. There may come someone who could mend the wounds of a broken heart but it couldn’t be the best solution to recompose oneself. Only time could do the trick 😉

3. She couldn’t decide.

Oh well, this goes to women with a pool of suitors lining up to win their hearts. There are just a lot of men with various good qualities and she want’s to make sure she gets to choose the best of them all. Just like that.

4. She knows too well

Being through a lot of heart aches makes some women cautious with every decisions they made. She might be through with the moving on stage and finally mingling with the opposite sex just like the old times but she’s too analytic and observant with all the pros and cons if ever she’ll enter another chapter of being in a relationship. Her instincts just know when it’ll work or not.

5. She’s contented with the way things are between you

Woah! You might just been put in the “friendzone” (HAHAHA, kidding!) or she’s just happy with how things are going on between the two of you. It might be because she’s afraid that when you put your “thing” in the next level, something  might change which obviously she doesn’t want to happen. So instead she preserve everything by not committing with you. Sad aye? But, look at the bright side. She just want to keep you longer than a relationship could offer.

6. Picky! Picky! Picky!

Yeah! She’s just too picky! She likes you but she wants a handsome one. You’re handsome yet she’s longing for a sweeter one. She just can’t get enough. She wants an actual prince charming that only fairy tales have! The ideal guy that would sweep her off her feet. (Who’s unfortunately doesn’t exist.) Poor thang -____-

7. She wants a “SHE”

Oh! The bomb has just been dropped! She ain’t up for a boyfriend or a husband. Maybe she’s fed up with guys so you probably know what I mean. SADBOYS! HAHAHA

8. She’s waiting for someone else

This seems to be a painful reality. That some women won’t make themselves available for a new flame just because they have been patiently waiting for a “lucky” guy to commit to them. They’re patient enough to endure the burden of waiting and waiting until that guy is ready to be taken by her (which in most cases doesn’t really happen).

There you go! These are only a few of the reasons which I personally know. Women are complicated by nature but when they love, it’s deep, pure and true. If you could notice, some of the reasons why SHE won’t commit is due to heart breaks and previously failed relationship. When something so fragile was broken, it’s really hard to bounce back to how it was before. I’m not saying us girls are the only ones who suffer pain in loving.

We’re all equal in love but accept it or not, we’re emotionally weak compared to guys so pain changes us in a way that sometimes hold us back from trusting and welcoming someone new in our lives.

Bottom line, we all have our own reasons why we don’t want to commit. It’s better to settle or overcome all these reasons before entering a state that requires sharing ourselves to someone that we might be with for the rest of our lives.

BitterSweet LOVE

♪♫ Why do we always hurt the ones we love. Why? ♫♪

A line from a song that always plays in my mind whenever I felt a sudden sting of loneliness within me. So again, why do hurt the ones we love?

Good thing if the one hurting you really loves you. At least you have the slightest reason to believe that maybe, he/she has just made a terrible mistake for bringing you pain and that love will eventually made him/her realize what he/she has done and will make it up to you. IDEAL setup aye?

But worst things worst, what if the person that brings you endless pain doesn’t feel even the tiniest bit of love for you? As if you’re no human entitled to feel the agony of every stitches and burn.

To where would you put yourself when the only paradise you believe in is within the hell that person builds around your world? Would you free yourself from imprisonment by the hope you hold on to that one day everything will be fine and that eventually all your sacrifices and felt pain will pay off and do you well?

Why do we all love to endure pain caused by people unworthy of the sanity that’s left in us?

HUMAN nature you may say. A cycle of never ending karma where the culprit is being betrayed by an Angel making the Angel the new culprit and so on and so forth

See how love, makes everybody mad almost about everything. Funny how this four-letter word could change a good heart to a hateful and destructive one.

Revenge was made known all because of LOVE.

When there’s LOVE there comes HATE.

When there’s LOVE there’s PAIN and SACRIFICES.

How come something so beautiful as LOVE has become the root of most evil life could offer us.

Yet we still longed for it, we still wanna feel it, we still search and fight for it. It has been considered one of the most powerful thing that revolves around everyone’s life.

How lovely it is to felt such wonderful feeling of Love without experiencing the hurtful stuffs that comes along with it.